How to Deal With Difficult People

In business, like the rest of life we

will often encounter people who are just that little more difficult

to get along with. Some use the term ‘personality conflict’ to

describe the situation, yet this suggests that there is some sort of

unbreakable barrier and that the problem is somewhat unfixable, since

it is highly unlikely somebody is going to change their entire

personality for the sake of better work relations! A far more

rational solution is to change specific behaviours, rather than

personality traits.

Situations with difficult employees

tend to occur over time; after all it is not very common to hire

someone and find them impossible to deal with after the first week.

Usually it is small irritating personal habits that progress over

time into larger annoying behaviours after being left unattended. In

any relationship, both people influence the other’s behaviour. In

almost every conflict situation, both parties bear some

responsibility for the way things end up.

Focusing on blame will produce no

results and only irritate you further. The most proactive thing you

can do in these situations is focus on what YOU can do to make things

better. It doesn’t matter who is at fault, if your primary concern is

to rectify the situation. Try to consider your contribution in this

unpleasant situation; perhaps you have just written them off as a

lost cause, their own worst enemy? Now try to consider ways in which

you can change this; maybe by getting more involved with them

personally, making an effort to become friends.

A good idea is to approach the

situation in a non- accusatory tone, preferably when you are both

calm and in a private situation. Address the problems you are

experiencing, once you have finished let them have their say and be

sure to listen intently so they know you are truly concerned and

interested. When possible find things to agree on, and offer

something in return.

If you are clearly frustrated it will

show. It is important that you deal with things firmly, but nicely

and without dramatics. To remain the bigger person you should retain

quiet dignity, even if the other person becomes rude or nasty. No-one

is suggesting you smile and turn the other cheek in the face of

abuse, but if you counter-attack or react in kind, you will almost

always make the situation worse.

Avoid gossip of any kind as you will

start to involve other members of staff. As well as being disruptive

to the organization, it will make it more difficult to fix the

situation. Gossip only focuses on the worst part of a person and

paints them in a very negative light. Along with being unfair, it

affects your thinking and actually shortens your patience, especially

when you get covert support from others.

Like every situation, prevention is

better than cure, by using a combination of politeness and limit

setting these situations can be completely avoided. However,

sometimes the conflict becomes so polarized that you will have to go

to outside sources to seek help. If the person in question is a

fellow staff member, one possibility is to approach your team leader

and explain the situation. Do your best not to convince your boss how

‘bad’ the other person is, it will just make you look like the

problem.

At the end of the day there is

generally a solution to every problem. If the situation persists and

you and the person in question continue not to see eye to eye, then

perhaps mediation or some other form of intervention may be

necessary. In any case you must remember that there are two sides to

every story, maybe you aren’t being as reasonable as you originally

thought? Be open to others suggestions and opinions, and be aware of

your rights and responsibilities in a conflict situation, as well as

theirs.

Article Source: Serverforever.com
About the Author:

Sheila Mulrennan from
Professionaldevelopment.ie specialises in writing articles relating
to Communication Skills, Presentation Skills and Personal
Development Training. Visit her website at www.Professionaldevelopment.ie
for more.